Last week it was Jack Nicklaus, whom Mr. Romney
dubiously labeled
“the greatest athlete of the 20th Century.” Today, it’s original member of
Duran Duran 1980s football icon John
Elway:
DENVER (AP) — The campaign for Republican
Mitt Romney is announcing the support of John Elway.
The
campaign released a written statement Monday from the former Denver Broncos
quarterback saying that in tough economic times, the country needs a president
who understands how to get America working again. The statement went on to say
America needs a comeback team, and Romney and his running mate Paul Ryan are
that team.
No word from the Romney team as to where Mr. Elway
fits on Mittens’ list of the World’s Greatest Athletes, but one thing’s for
sure: Romney has a lock on the coveted
Retired-Athletes-Young-People-Don’t-Remember demographic. If we’re taking bets
on who’s next, my money’s on Robin Yount. Or maybe Earl “Square Earl” Anthony.
C’mon. You remember Square Earl, don’t you? He was
only the winningest PBA bowler of all time. Unfortunately Square Earl went to
the Great Alley in the Sky about 11 years
ago; but if they can reanimate
Holographic Regan, surely a Holographic Square Earl can’t be far behind.
To be fair to Mr. Elway, though (and to Mittens,
too), at least football is a real sport. As far as Mr. Nicklaus’ pastime is
concerned, I have to agree with Dave Zirin of The
Edge of Sports, who had this to say when the AP named Tiger Woods the
“top athlete” of the last decade:
Golf
is not a sport. It’s a game. It’s darts. It’s billiards. It’s the World Series
of Poker with walking. I believe that anything that you can gain weight while
performing, or anything you can do at a world-class level while smoking, just
isn’t a true athletic competition. Otherwise the AP should’ve included people
like the Great Takeru Kobayashi, who held the competitive hot dog eating record
for six straight years. In 2001, he doubled the old mark, scarfing down 50
weenies in 12 minutes. Disgusting? Sure. But no more vile than the amount of
acreage and water needed to maintain a golf course.
Say, Mitt … I wonder if Mr. Kobayashi’s available.
No comments:
Post a Comment