Last week it was Jack Nicklaus, whom Mr. Romney dubiously labeled “the greatest athlete of the 20th Century.” Today, it’s
original member of
Duran Duran 1980s football icon John
DENVER (AP) — The campaign for Republican Mitt Romney is announcing the support of John Elway.
The campaign released a written statement Monday from the former Denver Broncos quarterback saying that in tough economic times, the country needs a president who understands how to get America working again. The statement went on to say America needs a comeback team, and Romney and his running mate Paul Ryan are that team.
No word from the Romney team as to where Mr. Elway fits on Mittens’ list of the World’s Greatest Athletes, but one thing’s for sure: Romney has a lock on the coveted Retired-Athletes-Young-People-Don’t-Remember demographic. If we’re taking bets on who’s next, my money’s on Robin Yount. Or maybe Earl “Square Earl” Anthony.
C’mon. You remember Square Earl, don’t you? He was only the winningest PBA bowler of all time. Unfortunately Square Earl went to the Great Alley in the Sky about 11 years ago; but if they can reanimate Holographic Regan, surely a Holographic Square Earl can’t be far behind.
To be fair to Mr. Elway, though (and to Mittens, too), at least football is a real sport. As far as Mr. Nicklaus’ pastime is concerned, I have to agree with Dave Zirin of The Edge of Sports, who had this to say when the AP named Tiger Woods the “top athlete” of the last decade:
Golf is not a sport. It’s a game. It’s darts. It’s billiards. It’s the World Series of Poker with walking. I believe that anything that you can gain weight while performing, or anything you can do at a world-class level while smoking, just isn’t a true athletic competition. Otherwise the AP should’ve included people like the Great Takeru Kobayashi, who held the competitive hot dog eating record for six straight years. In 2001, he doubled the old mark, scarfing down 50 weenies in 12 minutes. Disgusting? Sure. But no more vile than the amount of acreage and water needed to maintain a golf course.
Say, Mitt … I wonder if Mr. Kobayashi’s available.