Thursday, February 21, 2013

It’s All Fun And Games Until Somebody Gets Sued …

Well, that didn’t last long. A few days ago, serial whiner/bankruptcy filer Donald Trump (oh, did I mention he’s a racist birther hack, too?) threatened to sue the organizer of the “Dump Trump” movement aimed at getting Macy’s to jettison the Walking Comb-over:
Not only has Trump filed suit against comedian Bill Maher after Maher jokingly suggested that Trump was spawned from sex between a human and an orangutan, the “Apprentice” host/media fixture is threatening to sue the organizer of a boycott asking that Macy's sever its ties with Trump.
Trump’s attorney, Alan Garten, has sent a letter to Angelo Carusone, who launched an online petition urging Macy’s to drop Trump, saying that Trump will sue Carusone for damages “not less than $25,000,000” if he continues his campaign.
But even as Mr. Garten – no doubt a formidable legal force – claimed that the actions of Angelo Carusone, known as @GoAngelo on Twitter, threatened “to interfere with and intentionally disrupt Mr. Trump’s longstanding and well-established business relationship with Macy’s as well as his contractual dealings with other third parties,” Mr. Trump, in a classically Trump-like act of legal self-immolation, tweeted these gems:

That’s the clumsiest attempt at a graceful exit I’ve seen in a very long time, and believe me, I’ve seen plenty of people exit threatened litigation with their tails between their legs.
But Trump’s short-lived legal tantrum got me thinking. You know that game people play at Chinese restaurants where they add the phrase between the sheets to the end of every fortune: “You will encounter great happiness in life … between the sheets.  It almost always works. Well, you could do the same thing with The Donald’s Twitter stream, only instead of between the sheets, add … or I’ll sue!
Try it. It’s fun:
Despite all the statements to the contrary, Obama’s policies will increase taxes on everyone  Enjoy!” … Or I’ll sue!
Review your work habits & make sure they are taking you in the right direction. Don’t tread water—get out there and go for it” … or I’ll sue!
Re: Success—Don’t put blinders on and do not limit yourself; reach out, seek and explore. Think big at all times” … or I’ll sue!
Great to see @Yankees Captain Derek Jeter back on the field. He will have another great season and make NYC proud again” … or I’ll sue!
Oh, sure, sometimes if you add or I’ll sue! to Trump’s tweets you’ll end up with a non-sequitur, but let’s face it. They won’t make any less sense than they already do. 

1 comment:

  1. Trump has been a major success in one area, fleecing the rubes dumb enough to extend him credit or invest in his schemes. When someone of his "stature" is tweeting, I begin to question their fucking sanity--sorry, strike that, I've been convinced for quite awhile that "The Dongald" is fucking bathit.