Well, that didn’t last long. A few days ago, serial
whiner/bankruptcy
filer Donald Trump (oh, did I mention he’s a
racist birther hack, too?) threatened
to sue the organizer of the “Dump Trump” movement aimed at getting Macy’s
to jettison the Walking Comb-over:
Not only has Trump filed suit
against comedian Bill Maher after Maher jokingly suggested that Trump was
spawned from sex between a human and an orangutan, the “Apprentice” host/media
fixture is threatening to sue the organizer of a boycott asking that Macy's
sever its ties with Trump.
Trump’s attorney, Alan
Garten, has sent a letter to Angelo Carusone, who launched an online petition
urging Macy’s to drop Trump, saying that Trump will sue Carusone for damages
“not less than $25,000,000” if he continues his campaign.
But even as Mr. Garten – no doubt a formidable
legal force – claimed
that the actions of Angelo Carusone, known as @GoAngelo
on Twitter, threatened “to interfere with and intentionally disrupt Mr. Trump’s
longstanding and well-established business relationship with Macy’s as well as
his contractual dealings with other third parties,” Mr. Trump, in a classically
Trump-like act of legal self-immolation, tweeted
these gems:
My ties & shirts at Macy’s are doing great. Stupid @goangelo is making people aware of how good they are!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 20, 2013
Looks like a lawsuit against GoAngelo won’t work—my ties & shirts doing too well at Macy’s--he's actually helping. I have no damages!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 20, 2013
That’s the clumsiest attempt at a graceful exit
I’ve seen in a very long time, and believe me, I’ve seen plenty of people exit
threatened litigation with their tails between their legs.
But Trump’s short-lived legal tantrum got me
thinking. You know that game people play at Chinese restaurants where they add
the phrase between the sheets
to the end of every fortune: “You will encounter great happiness in life … between
the sheets.” It almost always works. Well, you could
do the same thing with The Donald’s Twitter stream, only instead of between
the sheets, add … or I’ll sue!
Try it. It’s fun:
“Despite all
the statements to the contrary,
Obama’s policies will increase taxes on everyone http://bit.ly/Xl9WTX Enjoy!” … Or I’ll sue!
“Review your
work habits & make sure they
are taking you in the right direction. Don’t tread water—get out there and go
for it” … or I’ll sue!
“Re: Success—Don’t put blinders on and do not limit yourself;
reach out, seek and explore. Think big at all times” … or I’ll sue!
“Great to see
@Yankees
Captain Derek Jeter back on the field.
He will have another great season and make NYC proud again” … or I’ll sue!
Oh, sure, sometimes if you add or I’ll sue! to Trump’s tweets you’ll end up with a
non-sequitur, but let’s face it. They won’t make any less sense than they
already do.
Trump has been a major success in one area, fleecing the rubes dumb enough to extend him credit or invest in his schemes. When someone of his "stature" is tweeting, I begin to question their fucking sanity--sorry, strike that, I've been convinced for quite awhile that "The Dongald" is fucking bathit.
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